Over this past weekend (August 2-4) I traveled to our nation’s capitol, Washington, DC, along with a dozen of my followers. We had thousands of flyers that spelled out our philosophy in exposing Bird Watchers for what they really are: namely cunning, pervasive, horny preditors.  More specifically, a shameful blight on our society by seeking sexual stimulation from birds in congress.

Birds are delightful creatures. They are so loveable and innocent. But we humans continue to erode our hallowed planet with garbage, toxic wastes spewing on land, water and into the air. Life will end and birds become extinct, along with their forefathers, the dinosaurs.

These thoughts gave me courage to counsel strangers in Washington. Many challenged our position after reading signs that said: STOP BIRD PORN! and LEAVE THE BIRDS ALONE!

Angry people felt we were wasting our time on a foolish mission. One visitor from Germany with his wife and three teenage children asked: “Why don’t you go after your baron leaders who are robbing the people blind and hosting an unpopular war that is bankrupting America?” I explained to this sixtyish stout hearted man with a beard that there are many other organizations to play watch dog and illuminate the problems facing us. And in a free country we have the freedom to make a choice on what to protest against. The tourist would not listen, he seemed prejudiced. He handed me back my flyer and strode away. 

The majority of people around the White House wanted flyers and photos of us with our signs. Many laughed openly. But they became sober upon reading our manifesto berating Bird Watchers. It was food for thought. I saw two senior citizens on a bench seriously debating whether they would continue bird watching with a club they belonged to in Reston, Virginia, or resign.

I must add that there are certainly thousands of bird watchers who do not  become sexually stimulated. But they are too many of them contributing to the delinquency of minors. 

Children imitate their parents’ bird watching activities by going to the internet and finding bird porn. It’s teeny bopper sex online. For shame!

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15 Responses to “”

  1. Anna Dove Says:

    I think the real sexual deviants are the people who keep birds hostage in cages where there is no escape and they cannot hide.

  2. Jan Koivisto Says:

    Where can I meet more people who love watching birds make love? What a wonderful experience. There are ZERO people where I live who are into this. Too me, birdlovers are great.

  3. Todd Says:

    WTF??? War in Iraq & Afaganistan, rampant gun violence, a medical system in shambles… all worthy things to protest against. You’ve chosen this?

    Crazy much?

  4. Moe Lester Says:

    A good Friday night for me is giving my two cocatiels horny goat weed and watch them screw for hours.

  5. Charley Tiel Says:

    You’ve GOT to be kidding. I’m betting you people dont’ even know how we birds mate. And as for us not wanting to do it with people watching, you are so wrong. We really don’t give a rat’s butt if anybody is watching. My human slave sometimes has to actually reach into our cage and STOP me and my girl once we get started. He says he doesn’t want anymore beaks to feed. This is pretty funny, but unfortunately there are too many people out there who are actually stupid enough to beliee this. I’ll just have to let the rest of the birds know via the “internest” that they shouldn’t be shy about doing what comes naturally. And you guys here? you’ll be on that rocket to the sun afer the “you know what.” along with most cats, some dogs and other predators who would like to eat us

  6. Doesitmatter? Says:

    Yeah. you guys DO realize that animals don’t care, right?

  7. Linguistics 'R' Us Says:

    If you are going to have a website, launched for your purposes of advocating copulation privacy for birds, it might behoove you to spell things correctly and use the correct form of adjectives. Please note that the adjective form of “predjudice” in the following sentence has been used incorrectly: “The tourist would not listen, he seemed prejudiced.”

    If you want people to respect your cause and take your views seriously, might I suggest presenting with impact, rather than using blanket observations that have no meaning to anyone other than your perception of the world. Nothing on your website moved me to have sympathy or compassion for your cause. Instead it made me wonder if this cause was not fueled by an adult who is experiencing arrested development.

    Furthermore, your website would probably receive more acclaim if you presented pertinent facts, statistics; possibly even brain and empathy capacities of specific species of birds.

    Lastly, please stop wasting paper to pass out flyers regarding your cause, it hurts the trees. Literally.

  8. Lossa Words Says:

    Seriously Folks, This is just a fake site. You have to be a bit slow if you think otherwise. Move along, Move along. Nothing to see here.

  9. Linda Says:

    I agree with Todd. With the serious problems in the country and the world,
    it is not only ludicrous that you have chosen this protest, but
    a slap in the face to the people who are trying to save our country, the world and are in other countries fighting wars.

  10. Geoff Says:

    The real question is whether it is the bird watchers or the birds themselves who are at fault. Like so many “concerned” people, those who run this website insist on blaming the victims. If birds were not having sex (or, as a start, at least not having it in the open), people would not become sex-watching addicts, the way so many elderly are these days.
    Why must people always be blamed before animals? It is some kind of liberal knee-jerk reaction to blame even the most important problems on our own species.

  11. wtf Says:

    Hey.. if the birds making out in a cave …would it be S&M birdie style?

  12. Brodie Says:

    Is it bad if I make eye contact while the male bird is finishing on the female bird?

  13. MC SmokesAlot Says:

    I used to like bird porn until that I found out what I thought was a money shot, was one bird pooping in the others face. It’s all fun till the scat play starts. SmokesAlot does not do, do-do.

  14. Tastes Like Chicken Says:

    First you watch them in the woods, next thing you know, you are buying game hens and stuffing them on your kitchen counter. This should be a campaign issue. McCain is against F’n chicken, Obama Loves F’n Chicken. Are you for or against F’n Chicken?

  15. MC SmokesAlot Says:

    Chicken I’m for F’n Palin God knows that’s all the dumb slit is good at, but… I digress this is the wrong site for such a topic, this all about the birds baby, besides we all know a brother like’s fucken watermelon more then fucken chicken, it makes sense when you think about it hmmm… I can’t wait tell melon season. Oh crap next thing you know it’s stop watermelon porn and the grocery stores will have veils over the melons, you know kind of like burquas. Instead of suppressing women we will suppress our melons!

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