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Bird watcher also bird-watcher n. A person who observes and identifies birds in their natural surroundings.

According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service forty eight million people watch birds. We have discovered that certain demographics of Bird Watchers are more sexually active than others.The elderly find that bird watching is not strenuous. And this erotic experience can be enjoyed privately through binoculars. Most disturbing are the groups of bird watchers seeking vicarious sexual gratification in the woods. Oftentimes they gather in relatively large groups and, aroused by birds’ mating rituals, they get involved in sickening mating rituals of their own, without any regard for birds’ privacy.

In this day and age, the society pays very little attention to the needs of animals, assuming animals are there for our joy and pleasure. Is it really so? Let’s see what Wikipedia says about birds’ mating habits:

Ninety-five percent of bird species are socially monogamous. These species pair for at least the length of the breeding season or—in some cases—for several years or until the death of one mate. Monogamy allows for biparental care, which is especially important for species in which females require males’ assistance for successful brood-rearing. Among many socially monogamous species, extra-pair copulation (infidelity) is common. Such behaviour typically occurs between dominant males and females paired with subordinate males, but may also be the result of forced copulation in ducks and other anatids. For females, possible benefits of extra-pair copulation include getting better genes for her offspring and insuring against the possibility of infertility in her mate. Males of species that engage in extra-pair copulations will closely guard their mates to ensure the parentage of the offspring that they raise.

Does it remind you of another species, commonly known as humans? So may be birds do have an agenda of their own, after all, and – oh my God – emotions, just like people?

Even more so, some species (not all) have mating rituals so complex that, when interrupted by nosy bird watchers, they become shy, stop mating and sometimes fail to resume properly. Which, in term, leads to a significant drop in the population of those species. Take a look, for example, at this article. What the article does not mention, however, is the reason why some of the bird watchers chase mating birds.

A psychologist who studies bird watching says: “Adults, disguised as bird watchers mask their debauchery by taking trips in groups. They can then achieve climax in the safety of the woods. Particularly disturbing is the high number of senior citizens using binoculars and telescopes to observe birds mating. These horny Peeping Toms satisfy their craving for sex by focusing their debasement on birds. This perversion must be halted, otherwise the entire moral fibre of our nation is going to hell.”.

A former birdwatcher, who recently resigned from his club in Meritt Island, FL, said:“I am sad about the reprehensible behavior of these bird watchers who need to satisfy their pornographic pleasures. Shame on them!”.

A member of Congress, who requested anonymity, is quietly drafting legislature that would levy stiff fines against people caught with bird porn in their possession, either photos or internet images.

For further information on how you can help discourage senior citizens from bird watching and, instead, to channel their energies into socially accepted activities, please email us at info@stopbirdporn.org or call us at (212) 592 3677.

P.S. We created a youtube channel just to post Anaida Krok’s video response to some “clever” posters:

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